As January draws to a close, many married couples will be breathing a sign of relief having just lived through this year's Black Monday- the day when divorce lawyers and marriage counsellors receive their highest volume of calls. With memories of Christmas and its intense family celebrations still flashing past their eyes, it seems a high proportion of those living in not so married bliss finally reached breaking point and called time on their marriage. Here Anne Broughton, divorce expert and family solicitor at leading south Wales law firm Leo Abse and Cohen, looks at the way the process of divorce has changed during the past few years and whether divorce is the 'easy' way out.
"Despite the fact that most of us marry 'for life' recent surveys have found that about 40% of British marriages end in divorce. And if you are one half of the many married couples feeling the strain at the moment, it should come as no surprise that the miserable month of January is one of the busiest of the year for divorce lawyers.
"According to recent press coverage, the common consensus is that divorce has become too easy but what has really changed with the current divorce law over the past few decades? The main difference is that you no longer have to go to court to prove the marriage has broken down. I concluded many years ago that this process was demeaning, distressing and quite frankly, in the majority of cases, wholly unnecessary. After two days in court haranguing one another whatever respect or residual feelings of fondness a husband and wife had for one another was guaranteed to go out of the window.
"The rest of the procedure for sorting out contested arrangements for children and family finances still remains a lengthy and emotionally difficult process for most couples as any divorcee will vouch. In relation to finances, we have gone from a simple statement of means to a 30-page document for each party to complete- and that's without all the documents that need to be enclosed. Legal Aid or Public Funding is unavailable for many people and those who do obtain it generally have to compete to see a Legal Aid practitioner as they are declining in numbers. They may then be pressed into mediation with the last person that they want to talk to at this traumatic time in order to get Public Funding, and this may have to be repaid anyway once the divorce is over - so Public Funding is certainly not without its complications.
"When it comes to children the current concept of no order is puzzling for most clients, with custody and access now superseded by the words 'residence' and 'contact'. The variation in practice between regional courts on the finer details of arrangements can also be confusing. Fathers have been encouraged by society to play a far greater role in their child's upbringing and suddenly many find they have to struggle to get contact and overnight stays. Mothers on the other hand may find that contact will proceed in spite of personal violence suffered, and that they have to cope with making arrangements on a weekly basis with a person whom they dread seeing. It is by no means easy. Why would anyone want to make it harder- isn't the financial and emotional toll bad enough?
"It is doubtful many happily married couples would still think it was too easy once they found themselves in this situation. Once a marriage is over the quicker and more amicable the divorce can be the better for all concerned, not least the children. However, marriage is still for most people much more desirable than cohabitation whether it be for religious, emotional or legal reasons. The insecurity and legal costs of sorting out unmarried couples' affairs are a very heavy disadvantage.
"Society has changed, women have more economic freedom, fathers are more involved and this benefits them, their partners and their families. The law is changing daily to meet the changes in our
society and while there is inevitably a time lag it is to be hoped we will eventually find some equilibrium."